The song remains the same
Ghostbusters - Ray Parker Jnr
I want a new drug - Huey Lewis and The News
Pop Muzik - M
In SPAM today…
ten principle letter seize occasion spot?
embarrass commit matter circumstances wonderful? sign one purpose got steps east. turning better need use,
thought fascinate cant respect.
side person letters come. cold reply progress.
goodbye mother independence sense raise teacher.
WTF????
3 meals and a funeral
Well, despite my dread and forgone conclusion that Xmas 2005 would suck in new and novel ways, it didn’t. Here’s a synopsis:
Xmas Eve.
Surf was crap so I went back to bed for a couple of hours. Headed off to my lil’ sister’s around midday for lunch with the ‘rentals. She’s moved into a new place… it’s about 3x the size of her old flat, and it has a huge hallway. Also features a bizarre, closed in hidden compartment in one of the rooms - floor to ceiling. We reckon the landlord’s dead wife is stashed there, but as yet haven’t noticed the stench of rotting flesh.
Lunch itself was actually really pleasant - P & M were relaxed and we all went for a nice post lunch digestive stroll to a nearby park with a creek running through it. When we came back we ate desert, drank a toast, and opened all out presents in time for them to get back to their prior engagement at the house of some vague acquaintance they didn’t really know but went because they got invited by another friend.
Xmas day
Surf was crap but I was denied a sleep in, as we were summoned to breakfast at Miss R’s dad and girlfriend’s mansion in the leafy eastern suburbs. This is the dad that said “when I croak, I’m spending the lot. you lot won’t see any of it”. That one. Anyway, despite the fact it was my turn to drive and I would therefore not be able to cushion the onslaught with two bottles of sparkling Burgundy, this occasion was also pleasant. We ate pancakes with 2% alcoholic Maple Syrup, scrambled eggs with smoked salmon, blackberries and cherries, and possibly the most expensive cheese in the world - a fact we were made repeatedly aware of. But that was the only blip on the bad behaviour radar, in fact I’d swear they were actually making an effort. He didn’t even belittle me for not being a “real programmer”. Not once.
Around 1pm Miss R’s ma rang asking where we were, since we’d been “expected” at midday. This was the first we’d heard of it, but never the less, we said our goodbyes and hit the road - dodging many a sweet old dear weaving all over the road on our return journey. Although it’s a bit of a trek, our destination was but 3 minutes from our house - meaning a lazy and breathalyser free drive home later that evening. It also meant I could get quietly hammered and only talk to people I wanted to talk to.
When we got there all of Miss R’s newly acquired in laws were there, all shuffling about, looking as downcast and nervous as ever. We’ve met them before, and they are always like this - absolutely no social skills and no desire to develop any. I’ve tried, christ, we all have… but there comes a time when you decide there are nicer, easier people to give your time to. We sat on either sides of the large loungeroom like boys and girls at a year 9 disco, occasionally getting up to retrieve a morsel of some sort from the food table while avoiding eye contact. When the time came to distribute presents, the weird segregation continued - split 3 ways between Miss R’s step family, her sister’s in laws, and Miss R’s mum and sisters. Anyway, once all the strained “thankyou’s” were done with, we shifted outside. By this stage I was ticking over quite nicely, having consumed somewhere in the region of:
5 beers
3 glasses of sparkling red
half a glass of champagne
2 glasses of a nice Clare Valley Shiraz I found recently opened on the drinks table, owner unknown )
2 scotch and cokes
Around this time I decided it would be a great time to get stuck into the free bonus four pack of Vodka Cruisers we got with the carton of beer we bought. This was a mistake I would later pay for.
Around 8:30pm we wandered home, having a couple more “quiet ones” to wash down our late night “not dinner” snack. At 4am I awoke, clammy and sweating. I managed to drag myself out of bed and down the hallway in the nick of time, stumbling into the toilet and raising the seat just as the first crimson chunks erupted from my billowing cheeks and coated the white porcelain. And so it was that I recounted everything I ate that day, in reverse chronological order, back to breakfast.
Boxing day
I got up around 8:30am, and to my amazement, felt quite chipper. I wandered up to the beach and was pleased to find the swell had picked up overnight. I snuck in a nice little session in glassy shoulder high surf, initially finding a dozen out there but remarkably, scoring around 45 minutes of utter bliss with just me and Rocky slicing up set waves between us. As the crowd began to pick up again later, I called it a day, returning home for a nice little post surf nap on the lounge.
In the evening I headed off to see old pal Mr Blonde who was in town visiting his folks. He’d called an impromptu bbq and invited everyone he hadn’t seen in a while, and I jumped at the chance to catch up having missed his last whirlwind visit. I got there at the start time which was good, since we got a bit of a chance to catch up before the masses arrived. It was great talking again, he’s one of those friends where you just instantly pick up where you left off last time. We enthuse about the same films, music and TV - but with enough difference to keep it interesting.
I also got to meet Claudia.
I’d seen photos, and he’d referred to her in e-mails, but being in another state it was the first time she’d met many of the folk there. It became pretty obvious to me and everyone else there that she was the love of his life, and I suspect she will become Mrs Blonde within a year or so. I guess it’s a good thing she’s blonde, hey?
Claudia was nice, in many ways exactly the sort of girl Mr Blonde would choose. Having propped up the bar with him many a time, we both have a good feel for each other’s taste in women - in fact there have been many occasions where they’ve overlapped. In other ways though, Claudia was not what I expected. The two of them are very much “people people”, the types that slip into easy conversation with virtually anyone on virtually any topic - remarkable for two people who each have PhD’s let alone a couple. But she was fully into the outdoors - sun streaked hair, piercing blue eyes, well toned and beautifully tanned - the full Danish backpacker look.
But when she sat down and talked to me, I definitely felt a bit of distance. We talked about surfing, snorkelling and diving - topics we shared a passion for - but there was something missing. I really can’t put my finger on it, perhaps she was tired, or a bit overwhelmed, or felt a bit like she’d been thrown in at the deep end. I guess Mr Blonde has probably been describing me and some of our past antics to her as well, and she may have found that a bit intimidating. I did my best to put her at ease and ask her about how they met and such, and for the most part the conversation flowed fairly well - but at other times it felt sort of stilted. I dunno… maybe I overanalyse these things and should just take them on face value. I probably shouldn’t read too much into it.
At around midnight and shortly after finishing off my last light beer, I took my overly sober leave. It was a warm, balmy night with no wind, and the air smelt sweet. I got into my car and wound down the driver’s side window to let in some fresh air for the 45 minute drive home. As I backed out I thought I saw something move in the shadowy gutter - but it turned out to be a skateboard - no doubt some kid’s already forgotten xmas present. As I straightened up and moved off down the street the street light caught something moving again out the corner of my eye. I looked over to the passenger side window. FUCKING. HUGE. SPIDER. I swear this thing was bigger than my hand, and it’s abdomen was wider than my thumb. I came to a halt as gently as possible and pulled on the handbrake. Now I don’t mean harm to any of god’s little creatures, no matter how ugly, venemous or vicious they may be. But this thing was feral… and he had one thing on his mind - to crawl in through my air vents, and jump on my face 30 minutes later when I was on the freeway driving at 100km/h. I simply could not allow this to happen. Reaching behind the drivers seat I peeled off one of the velcro backed floor mats, and rolled it into a tube. I slowly climbed out of the driver’s eat, the engine still running, refusing to take my eyes off the monster. I crept around the front of the car, and sidled stealthily up to the passenger side window. I slowly raised my arm for the back swing, then swiftly struck the glass and poor old spidey. His dismembered corpse flew off into the darkness, landing on the road with a sickening, audible “thud”. I shuffled back to make sure I had been thorough in the utterly unnecessary slaughter of such a fine specimen, and felt a pang of sadness as I beheld his lifeless exoskeleton lying there.
It was a shame he had to die at Xmas. I hope his family don’t take it personally.
generalboy’s "are you a weirdo?" meme
Feel free to post this on any other blog, but if you do a link back here would be nice. 
———————————————-
UFO’s and Aliens
[ ] Do you believe in Aliens and UFO’s?
[ ] Have you ever seen a UFO?
[ ] Have you ever seen aliens?
[ ] Have you ever had contact with aliens?
[ ] Have you ever had a lost time / abduction experience?
[ ] Do you think there is a global conspiracy to cover up UFO’s?
[ ] Do you believe Alien races have interbred with humans?
The afterlife
[ ] Do you believe in ghosts?
[ ] Have you ever seen a ghost?
[ ] Have you ever communicated with someone from beyond the grave?
[ ] Are you a ghost?
[ ] Are you undead?
[ ] Do you believe in re-incarnation?
[ ] Do you believe in the afterlife?
[ ] Do you believe in past lives?
[ ] Do you have memories of your previous incarnation / past life?
Spritualists
[ ] Do you believe in mediums / spritualists?
[ ] Have you ever used a medium / spritualist?
[ ] Have you ever had your Tarot cards read?
[ ] Have you ever visted a psychic?
[ ] Do you hear voices ( not diagnosed Schitzophrenea ) ?
[ ] Do you consider yourself psychic?
[ ] Have you ever witnessed channeling?
[ ] Did you believe it?
[ ] Have you ever channeled?
[ ] Do you consider John Edwards an amazing and talented man?
Occult / Wiccar
[ ] Have you ever used a Ouija board?
[ ] Do you believe in spells?
[ ] Have you ever used a spell on someone / yourself?
[ ] Do you consider yourself a witch?
[ ] Are you a member of a coven?
[ ] Do you believe in evil spirits / demons?
[ ] Have you ever been possessed by an evil spirit / demon?
[ ] Have you ever had or conducted a clearing?
[ ] Have you ever had or witnessed an Excorcism?
[ ] Have you ever spoken in tongues?
[ ] Do you believe Voodoo?
[ ] Have you ever used Voodoo?
[ ] Do you believe in the undead?
[ ] Do you believe in Vampires?
[ ] Have you ever performed a ritual sacrifice?
[ ] Do you watch Televsions shows like Buffy, Medium and Charmed?
Esoteric
[ ] Do you believe in astral travel?
[ ] Have you ever had an out of body experience?
[ ] Have you ever had a post death experience?
[ ] Do you believe crystals have magic powers?
[ ] Do you own or use crystals?
[ ] Do you spell magic “magik”?
[ ] Do you know someone who is telepathic?
[ ] Do you believe you are telepathic?
[ ] Do you believe in / practice Feng Shui?
[ ] Do you believe in / practice Raiki?
[ ] Have you ever had your Aura studied?
[ ] Can you see other people’s Auras?
———————————————-
copyright (c) 2005 generalboy
http://newtrix.blogspot.com
’tis the season of the meme
Appearance
[ ] I am shorter than 5′4
[x] I have many scars ( at least they are physical! )
[x] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different colour.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ] Have/I’ve had braces.
[ ] Wear glasses. ( 20/20 vision )
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100 safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger. ( a drunk, desperate stranger )
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[x] I have freckles.
Family/Home Life
[x] I’ve sworn at my parents.
[x] I’ve run away from home.
[x] My biological parents are together. (I don’t know how though)
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[?] I want to have kids someday. ( jury is still out on this one )
[ ] I’ve had children.
School/Work
[ ] I’m in school.
[x] I have a job. ( but only if I have a contract )
[x] I’ve fallen asleep at work/school. ( let me count the times… )
[ ] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I’ve missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I’ve been on the Honour Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[x] I’ve stolen something from my job.
[x] I’ve been fired. ( It took long enough though… )
[x] I’ve skipped school.
Embarrassment
[ ] I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I’ve peed from laughing.
[x] I’ve snorted while laughing.
[x] I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
[x] I’ve glued my hand to something. ( actually it was my entire arm… with superglue )
[x] I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose. ( iced coffee )
[x] I’ve had my pants rip in public.
Health
[x] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[x] I’ve gotten stitches.
[x] I’ve broken a bone.
[ ] I’ve had my tonsils removed.
[x] I’ve sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[x] I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I’ve had chicken pox.
Travelling
[x] I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day ( 500 actually ).
[x] I’ve been on a plane.
[ ] I’ve been to Canada.
[ ] I’ve been to Mexico.
[ ] I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I’ve been to Japan.
[ ] I’ve Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[x] I’ve been to Europe.
[ ] I’ve been to Africa.
Experiences
[ ] I’ve gotten lost in my city. ( it’s impossible )
[x] I’ve seen a shooting star.
[x] I’ve wished on a shooting star.
[x] I’ve seen a meteor shower.
[x] I’ve gone out in public in my pyjamas.
[x] I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator. ( did it just the other day )
[x] I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
[x] I’ve been to a casino.
[ ] I’ve been skydiving.
[x] I’ve gone skinny dipping. ( refer blog posting )
[x] I’ve played spin the bottle.
[ ] I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] I’ve crashed a car ( several cars actually ).
[x] I’ve been skiing. ( put me down for both )
[x] I’ve been in a play.
[x] I’ve met someone in person from the internet.
[x] I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
[x] I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I’ve played chicken. ( and I won! )
[x] I’ve played a prank on someone. ( soooooo many )
[x] I’ve ridden in a taxi (this should say “London Cab”… that’d be more interesting I reckon)
[x] I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] I’ve eaten Sushi.
[ ] I’ve been snowboarding.
Relationships
[ ] I’m single
[x] I’m in a relationship.
[ ] I’m engaged.
[x] I’m married. ( happily )
[x] I’ve had someone cheat on me.
[x] I’ve gone on a blind date.
[ ] I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[ ] I have a fear of commitment.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[x] I’ve cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I’ve gotten divorced.
[x] I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
[ ] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
[x] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did. ( actually, two people )
[x] I’ve kept something from a past relationship.
[x] I’ve been heartbroken.
Sexuality
[ ] I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] I’ve had a crush on a teacher. ( Mrs Hale, year 9. Damn she was HOT! )
[ ] I am a cuddler.
[x] I love to flirt. ( especially at old ladies )
[x] I’ve been kissed in the rain.
[x] I’ve hugged a stranger.
[x] I have kissed a stranger. ( she kissed me first… not complaining though )
Honesty/Crime
[?] I am a terrible liar. ( I am more a gifted “bender of the truth” than a liar )
[x] I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t
[x] I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
[x] I’ve snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I’ve cheated while playing a game.
[x] I’ve cheated on a test.
[x] I’ve run a red light.
[ ] I’ve been suspended from school.
[x] I’ve witnessed a crime.
[x] I’ve been in a fist fight.
[ ] I’ve been arrested.
[x] I’ve shoplifted.
Death and Suicide
[x] I’m afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[x] I’ve seen someone dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[x] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[ ] I’ve planned my own suicide. ( NEVER )
[x] I’ve written a eulogy for myself.
Political/Social Attitudes
[?] In general, I don’t like people. (no, just stupid people)
[ ] I’m a feminist.
[ ] I’m very outgoing.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I’m Democratic.
[ ] I’m Republican.
[ ] I’m liberal.
[ ] I don’t like Bush because he is dumb.
[x] I don’t like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
[ ] I am for Bush.
[ ] I’m religious.
[ ] I dress fairly modestly.
[x] My attitude is, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” ( but I haven’t got it )
Random
[x] I can sing well. ( or so I’ve been told )
[x] I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I don’t kill bugs.
[x] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[x] I curse regularly. (especially whist driving)
[x] I sing in the shower. ( I sing all the time )
[x] I am a morning person. ( due to a contractual obligation and not by choice )
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[x] I’m a snob about grammar. (yeah but I should practice what I preach)
[x] I am a sports fanatic. ( but not for Criket, Footy and other “ratings” sport )
[ ] I twirl my hair. ( three words. Number Two Clippers )
[ ] I have “x”s in my screen name.
[ ] I love being neat.
[x] My favourite colour is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue. (blue)
[ ] I would wear pyjamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[x] I know how to shoot a gun. ( 12 gauge, .22 and 303 )
[x] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I laugh at my own jokes. ( well they seem really, really funny at the time )
[x] I eat fast food weekly. ( it’s nearly always Pizza )
[x] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[ ] I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[x] I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room. ( I can’t sleep… period )
[x] I am ticklish. ( wanna see me cry? )
[x] I love white chocolate. ( ooooooh baby, yeah )
[ ] I bite my nails.
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[x] My answers are totally honest.
Hypothetical
Let us suppose, that by the by, I came was to come into ownership of two shipping containers - one full of new name brand golf equipment, the other full of second hand golf balls.
Two questions:
1) What exactly would I do with them ( I really REALLY need some ideas here people )?
2) When exactly did my freind turn into Arthur Daily?
Video Pirates - Bad Karma will getcha
A guy I work with is THE p2p bandit. Fully.
About every two days he hands me a new movie - usually a cinema rip of a new release, or a DVD rip of some cult classic. If it’s out at the cinema now, he probably already has it. And has seen it.
Anyhoo, a few weeks ago he grabbed The Virgin Suicides for me. I haven’t seen it, despite buying the DVD of Sophie Coppola’s excellent, and later film Lost In Translation. SBS ran TVS at 10:30pm the other night, but being a school night, I had to go beddiebyes.
So last night I set AVI2DVD on the rip and created a disk image ( takes 4 hours ), with a view of burning it today and possibly watching it tonight. So….
1st Attempt: Video encoded fine, but no sound. Beer coaster.
2nd Attempt: Burnt disk image in “Data” mode, player fails to recognise as a valid disk. Beer coaster.
3rd Attempt: Got update to Nero 6 off ed2k.it, used “burn disk image” option.
So once it had finished I had a quick look on my PC.
Start credits rolling… good… no sound yet… waiting… 1st scene… Sound! Yyyyeesss!.
Excitedly I remove the disk and dash into the lounge and shove it into the DVD player. I juggle the three remote controls to make it all work. Yep, it’s playing.. good… and now is there sound?….. yyyyyyyyyes!
So I sit down to have a quick look, and wait about 4 minutes before the first piece of dialogue. Ummm… something’s wrong…
Why are they all speaking in GERMAN?
d’oh!
nothing… if not driven
Today while driving out of the city I suddenly was overcome by a strange, detached feeling.
I concluded that all that was really moving along at 55km/h was my consciousness… and everything else moving along with it - my car… my arms… my phone… my feet on the accelerator pedal… my nerd bag full of web guy nerd crap… were just tools that facilitated this. It was like I was looking in through the front windshield of my car and yelling, “hey!… You!… Do you really need all of this to get where you want to go?”
the ghost of Xmas past
It’s hard to believe that in just 10 days, the shopping miracle of Christmas will be all over bar the shouting. Or the belching. Or the purging.
Anyhoo, it will be over, and I for one, could not be friggen happier. Y’see, Christmas for me has always been a bit, well, weird. I have had a couple of normal Christmases, but the majority have had something broken about them.
The seeds of malcontent were sown at an early age - when me and my sis were taken on this gruelling day trip to see all our grandparents. Now I know, in an ideal world, we should have been thinking that they might drop off the twig at any time and so we should make the effort but frankly - it was a chore.
On Dad’s side was his (s)mother, since my granpaps passed on before I was born. Dad was her only son and hence, we her only grandkids. Nanna loved us to bits which was nice… but she damn near killed us with kindness. In my toddler years, in her care she would feed me up on lollies and chocolate - so when I got home I wouldn’t eat proper food. This became a 3 way battle of wits between me and my mum, and my mum and Nanna. Suffice to say, my domineering Nanna won - her lasting legacy being an eating disorder that troubles me to this very day.
Every Xmas day we’d sit there in the furnace like unit, while her and her sister over from Melbourne would stage their annual argument. Sometimes mum would stumble into it… and emerge from the kitchen in tears. When the food came out I was segregated, of course, because Christmas Turkey, in fact any Turkey, made me vomit. Instead I would have slices of Fritz with a little pot of sauce to dip them in, which I’d eat alone at the telephone table. Throughout my “great” aunt would repeatedly chastise me for not being “normal” and eating Turkey with everyone else.
Once the bickering and humiliation was done with, it was off for more merriment at my mum’s parent’s. My poppa, a retired university professor and sworn communist, never had a great deal of time for us kids. Our hours there were consumed lying on the floor, building Taj Mahal like towers out of playing cards with our cousins ( he never kept any toys there either… that would just encourage us ). About every 20 minutes, or whenever our enthusiasm got above a faint whisper, Poppa would get up, walk over, and shout at us all to be quiet. Usually after about three of these interjections we’d be forced outside where he wouldn’t have to listen to our infuriating little voices - and we wouldn’t have to choke on his tobacco smoke. So everyone was a winner.
Quite remarkably, some of the tension this created amongst out parents seemed to spill over to us kids. When I turned 17 I inherited the old family car when Dad upgraded. On Xmas day this meant one thing to me and one thing only - freedom! And so it was that I spent my first year away from the horror, escaping the heat of the plains, the snarls and the smoke and driving up into the hills to see my friends. Mum and dad gave me a leave pass on the assurance I made an appearance at both grandparents - a responsibility I duly shirked with a number of poorly concocted excuses. The subsequent storm lasted a week, with my mother little more than monosyllabic until new year’s eve.
I generally tried to avoid Xmas after that, the inevitable and eventual closure of mum’s parents arteries and their subsequent departure into the hereafter helping the cause somewhat. At some point later, we gathered again to have Xmas as a family - one if fact was quite nice. Possibly the best Xmas I can remember was spent sitting on a remote beach on an overcast day, eating vegemite sandwiches while the surf pounded.
I was in London for the next one, and while you’d think that would be cool, it’s actually not. London is really like a bloated version of Adelaide - except Iranians run the fish and chip shops instead of Greeks. On Xmas eve, almost everything in London is shut - every pub, every restraunt, even bloody McDonalds for Chrissake. We ended up pretending to be guests at a Hotel off Russel Square, getting in to the dining room 5 minutes before they stopped serving, but utterly unsurprisingly finding an Aussie waitress who snuk us out some leftovers. I rang mom and dad on the hotel phone, and as it chewed up my one pound coins like a 13 year old playstation addict with ADHD would M&M’s, they rattled on about who they were seeing and how really, they hardly noticed we weren’t there since they’d been so busy.
The two years that followed were weirder.
Miss R and I had enthused to them about all getting together for the next Xmas, and they seemed excited. Two weeks out, she rang them up to confirm it. At this point they suddenly floated a list of prior engagements - hitherto unheard of - that would just make it too hard to catch up over Xmas. Poor Miss R was bewildered - but it was nothing new to me. The next Xmas we tried again, but my parents were evasive and non-committal. In the grips of a feud with her father, Miss R and I decided that if we couldn’t please everyone, we’d please ourselves. We blew all of them off - fleeing to the tranquilly of a remote national park on our own, where we set up a campfire, drank vodka and ate Smiths Crisps and White chocolate, and laughed all night. I’d trade a cold, dreary Xmas eve in London for that anyday. Anyway, we contacted my parents on Boxing day - upon which they were non-committal… dare I say “short” with us again. In the following week we became pariahs - because we obviously didn’t care about anyone but ourselves. The fallout from that one lasted months. Apparently, we had not understood their wishes. Apparently.
Which brings me to this year.
Things seemed to have improved, and at a birthday gathering in September Miss R suggested Xmas at her mum and stepdad’s new house. They all enthused - even to the point of asking the types of things they might bring along foodwise. Last night Miss R. rings them up to confirm everything. My sister is in a state. Apparently mum and dad have arranged all these alternative activities for the day - and couldn’t possibly make it. She thought it was all understood but no… the evil curse of Christmas had struck once again.
Miss R and I have formed the opinion that they actually do this deliberately. It’s like they arrange all of these “fallback” plans just in case we dash off to London or a National Park again, leaving them to cope with their miserable recollections of Xmas past alone. In this way, it becomes a fait accomplis - they are protected against us disappointing them ever again by not being around at Xmas. Incredibly stupid, since we’d like nothing more than to spend it with them.
My folks are fine all the rest of the time, but at Xmas, something happens to their brains. We are fighting years of conditioning and unpleasantness - much of it before we were even born. I don’t think it’s getting any better as the years go by - in fact it seems to be getting worse. Will we see them at Xmas? I honestly can’t say. Does that mean anything to me? I honestly don’t know.
Do I care anymore? Nup.
welcome to my brain
picture 4 city blocks, each with tall buildings in various stages of construction. The buildings are made from lego, and all the blocks are different colours and all mixed up. In addition, there’s not enough lego to build them all at once, so there’s a little lego guy running around with a lego wheelbarrow constantly steeling lego blocks from one to use on another. He cannot stop… ever…