Pushy
How often have you heard it said, “Geeez, he’s such a pushy bastard!”, or yourself rolled your eyes and quietly muttered “pushy bitch!”?
There are “types” of people who are widely considered pushy. Used car salesmen, telephone company telephone canvassers, and hawkers all have achieved a fine degree of mastery in the field of pushyness. For these types, the amount of money they make is often directly proportional to how pushy they are - a conversion = a sale = commission. But often you’ll find people who are pushy by nature - and this attribute is in no way related to their success or remuneration. They have a natural tendency to hassle people, or repeat themselves - always trying to get what they want *just that bit* quicker.
Anyone that knows me, or has known me for a while, would agree that I’m not a natural nagger, serial hassler, or relentless rider of folk. In general, I like to think I am fairly laid back, reasonable, somewhere around halfway between doormat and complete bastard. Like everyone else, I have my limit ( and perhaps in traffic my limit is somewhat below average… but enough on that for now! ), and a point beyond which my tone and patience shift to a different, less easy level. In essence, I’m not a pushy guy.
But earlier in my life I was often a victim to pushy people - I’d cave in rather than confront them. It also meant that whenever I was faced with something or someone being unreasonable, I’d question myself instead of questioning them. A few years ago I recognised this problem, and decided from that moment on that I’d act as if I was unquestionably right and the “pusher” was unquestionably wrong. What this implies is that I too have become pushy, or that I have developed pushy tendencies. But I don’t do it because I have learnt to derive pleasure or any ego boost from it - on the contrary - it’s often a form of considerable stress for me. In the last few years it has got me what I want… eventually… but sometimes I wonder about the toll the stress it creates has on my physical and mental health. Then again, being a victim is stressful in itself.
I’d prefer to think that these days I act reasonably and patiently up to a point that most people would consider acceptable. Beyond that, I start prodding and making it fairly clear that I’m not all that happy with the way things are progressing. Sometimes this amounts to trying it on, but most often, I just want what’s fair. I doing so though, I often wonder about people who don’t have the skills or assertiveness to ensure they are treated fairly. Sometimes it depresses me… the fact that people who don’t want to fight and argue and just live in peace get screwed over by pushy types. Finance companies, Banks and Employers all have a history of ensuring the “average joe” gets a raw deal.
So what do you consider pushy? Do you think the perception of “pushyness” (pushiness?) is relative, or absolute? Have you even been guilty of a double standard in terms of pushyness, for example being on somebody’s case, but criticising another person for doing it to you? Do you feel as if these days, you must be more pushy just to get what’s reasonable and fair? Following that line, has the world become a more pushy place, and if this is so, how and where does it end?
