At the risk of sounding like I only have one beginning to the fabulously unpopular Generalboy remembers series, possibly the most hyped up band of my generation was Nirvana.

I remember seeing the video clip for Smells like Teen Spirit the first time, and just going “what the fuck just happened? Those cheerleader chicks had the nastiest tatts I’ve ever seen!”. I’ll be honest and say the visuals captured a lot more of my attention than the music, and that feeling stayed with me.

The publicity machine went into overdrive when Nirvana toured Australia, and I remember Nevermind was blaring from every bloody music store you walked past. It got the the point where if I heard “Polly wants a cracker” one more time I was gonna go shopping for flame throwers. It was on high rotation at all the parties all my friends had, and they all looked so disappointed when they all ran out and bought tickets to Nirvana’s one and only Tinytown concert, and I just shrugged my shoulders.

In hindsight, maybe I wish I’d gone. At that time in my life I was very much over everything commercial and overhyped… in fact… I failed to see how anything that popular could be any good. It had been at least 5 years since I intentionally tuned in to commercial radio, and three or four since I’d seen a movie that cost more than $50,000 to make and came from anywhere near a suburb ending with “wood”. I was deeply suspicious of the whole Nirvana phenomenon - it seemed awfully contrived to me.

I guess moreso, I had been listening to bands like them before them, and had already been a fan of one of Nirvana’s biggest influences, The Pixies, for two or three years. Crucify me at the mere suggestion… but I still think their entire body of work sounds better with the passing of time than Nirvana’s. I cannot deny Nirvana’s contribution to the musical potpourri of my generation, but I think I am big and dumb enough to convey the sheer indifference I feel toward them.

The sad part is, I don’t hate them. I’ll even bang out a few of their riffs on the old six string when I want to piss off the neighbours. But if you ever see me drunkenly mouthing along to the Unplugged CD, please… kill me…

Tags: general, generalboy remembers by generalboy
7 Comments »

Well, I actually got some (real) work done today, but you’ll be pleased to know I also:

• found the latest update to Google Maps shows my car parked in the driveway, and not in the city carpark or carport where it usually lives
• massacred the top 20 scores on a popular Flash based game of skill
• spent too much time (mis)typing stoopid remarks on a brand new shoutbox *someone* put on their blog
• trawled the web looking for a MySQL database of Australian postcodes mapped to Latitude / Longitude and came up trumps
• trawled the “El Cheapo” bins at DM’s and also came up trumps with a 2004 Merlot

So that was Time wastin’ Tuesday.

How was yours?

Tags: Time wastin' Tuesday, general by generalboy
2 Comments »

I met Marie through a mutual friend and liked her straight away, after offering her a lift home from a party one night. She didn’t have a car, and over the next couple of months I picked her up from her flat a few times when our social circle all got together. More often than not, we’d arrive somewhere and go our separate ways - Marie disappearing off with “her girls” and me propping up the bar with the guys. But it wasn’t long before tongues among our group were wagging. “What’s the deal with you and Marie?” they’d ask, and I’d reply “just friends”, which was absolutely true. It didn’t make sense to them… we were both single… both sociable… frequently seen arriving and leaving together… yet not an item? In truth, I later came to wish it were the case, but it wasn’t to be.

*       *       *

Jude and Manny were regulars at small and large gatherings, and many people just assumed they were an item. Jude had a teenage daughter, Bianca, from a previous relationship. Bianca and Manny were always joking with each other and obviously close - he was more like a dad to her than her natural father ever was. But friends new that Jude was living with another man, and on rare occasions he would attend functions with her. He also knew about Manny, and there was no problem at all as far as both were concerned. People who had just met them assumed Manny and Jude were a couple, but they were wrong.

*       *       *

Shane arrived to pick up his laptop, and for the second time that week, Shelley was with him. He’s worked with her for almost 2 years, and they seem like good friends. That afternoon they were going to look for designer furniture together so each would have something to eat off. The next day Shane gave me a call about some software he wanted, he was out on a bike ride with Shelley. A month ago Shane announced he and his wife were splitting up, and have only recently sold their home. Shelley remarked about how quickly he’d got himself a flat, and how she was also looking for one with Shane’s help. As far as I recall, Shelley got married less than two years ago… I wasn’t about to ask why she was looking for a flat. There were no open signs of affection between the two, so perhaps they were still “just friends”.

Tags: friendship, general by generalboy
3 Comments »

Without doubt, the most hyped up astronomical event of the 1980’s was the passing of Halley’s Comet.

Comet Halley orbits us every 75 years, previously appearing in 1910 and first noted as early as 240BC. The 1910 visit was well documented and seen the world over - and the first such event ever photographed. As with any large scale cosmic event there were scaremongers - some predicting the comet would strike the earth and wipe out mankind; another theory suggested Potassium Cyanide gas contained in the comet’s tail would poison every living thing as the planet passed through it. No such events occurred, and instead, observers were rewarded with a night time spectacle beyond compare. Comet Halley is often confused with The Great Comet that arrived 4 months earlier in January, which was so bright that it was actually visible to the naked eye in broad daylight.

Scheduled to pass closest to Earth in February 1986, the Halley’s Comet money machine started ticking over at least a year in advance - with all manner of plans to cash in on this “once in a lifetime” event. One such caper were so-called Halley’s Comet flights - run by major airlines around the world. My parents bought tickets for one of these for my sister and I, and in early February of that year we climbed aboard the first Ansett comet observation flight.

Taxiing out the atmosphere aboard was festive, with mums and dads served airline wine in plastic cups, and kids scoffing down chips and twisties once we were in the air and levelled out. There were also a few reporters and TV cameras on board to capture the event, and I remember seeing them filming down the aisles before we took off. I waved. I remember they took us out over the sea and away from the light pollution of the city, making two passes in each direction - giving passengers on either side of the aircraft a view. They turned out all the lights so it was dark and we could see better.

Sadly, there wasn’t all that much to see. When Comet Halley made its closest pass to Earth on Febrary 9 it was little more than a faint speck to the naked eye, it’s tail a fluffy and miniscule imitation of its former self. The tail spanned several degrees of arc in the 1910 encounter… but in 1986, it was no more than the width of a pencil held at arm’s length. The news did their best to hype it up, but in all honesty… Halley’s comet in 1986 was just piss weak.

Just as the May 1910 approach had already been upstaged by the Great Daylight Comet in January, Comet Halley was also upstaged by the Challenger Space Shuttle disaster that happened just three weeks earlier. And 21 years later, it would be far surpassed the utterly spectacular passing of Comet McNaught in February 2007. Comet McNaught has been named “The Great Comet” of 2007, and it is generally believed by astronomers that it will never return.

For me, that makes it unforgettable; and a true once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Tags: general, generalboy remembers by generalboy
6 Comments »

Walking back from a mid morning surfcheck I spotted them… wandering across the intersection that my street and the the street that leads to the beach… men in suits.

There’s something about two fifty something men wandering aimlessly about suburban streets at 11am on a weekday. You kinda notice them. Actually, if the truth were told, they stick out like swollen dog’s balls. Two men in suits. On a Tuesday. Knocking on doors. No doubt about it… they are selling something. Something with Jesus on it.

Anyway, I soon find myself walking up my street, about 50 paces behind them. They don’t know I am there, and as the reach the driveway of my neigbour’s house 2 doors down they stop. At this point they turn at right angles as I walk past them… trying my best to look aloof and unapproachable. It occurs to me they will watch me turn left and walk across the front lawn and into my house… and then they will know there is someone at home. So I walk right past my house and continue up to the end of the street, walking purposefully. As I turn left I look back up the street but there is no sign of them - clearly they have found someone to annoy.

So I decide that by the time I walk around the block, the god botherers will have already knocked on my door and moved on to the next house - and I can quietly sneak up behind them and get back inside before they see me. 5 minutes later I am back on my street from the other end… there’s no sign of them… so I walk quickly past the neigbour’s houses toward mine. Suddenly I hear American accents and the sound of a front door closing. Noooooooooooo! They are on my neighbour’s doorstep, about to walk out and knock on my door next!

I make an about face and briskly walk up the street and across the road… and make for the beach again. Along the way I pretend to stop at Andre’s house, even knocking on his door despite the fact I know he’s at work. Then I walk up to the beach for 5 minutes, waiting, and hoping the Jebus salesmen have moved on. Once I think it’s safe, I start back down the street and back home… when suddenly the two suited men appear at the intersection again. I panic for a second, but then notice a gaggle of half a dozen sensibly dressed, pamphlet waving women on the opposite side of the street, waiting patiently. The men greet them, and then they all drift off up the street, mercifully, in the opposite direction. I breath a sigh of relief, looking back as I check the mailbox. Thank god they are gone. Seriously… I mean it.

So that was Time Wastin Tuesday.

How was yours?

Tags: Time wastin' Tuesday, general by generalboy
2 Comments »

and old friend…

Tags: general, generalboy remembers by generalboy
4 Comments »

In the interests of not wasting any more time the following post will be in dot point form. Then again, that is probably self-evident… rendering this paragraph a waste of time. Let’s press on, shall we?

• I wasted far to much time today debunking an idiot on a forum flogging those useless “run your car on Hydrogen” kits. When he resorted to personal insults in defence of his position, I knew I had him on the ropes… and wasted no time pointing out that fact. But why do I let these nitwits draw me into debates about pseudo science? WHY??
• accepted 5 “fwiend” requests on the the website’s Fuckbook page, then went looking for someone who I knew had recently created a page… and sulked when I couldn’t find it.
• I created a new folder called “TAX” on a new hard disk, with two subfolders ( one for each business ). I then opened MYOB and stared at the 4 years worth of 98% complete tax data, which I can’t complete returns for without the near impossible to find 2%. My eyes glazed over. I shut down MYOB. Then I logged onto YouTube and looked up ladytron clips. Find the happy place… find the happy place…
• Got an email from a journo who, rather spookily, had not only the same name, but same nickname as Miss R. So I spent half an hour googling her and her agency, then gave her a call. She was nice… bright and funny. Then I imagined her googling my name after I got off the phone, and finding that picture… the one where I look like Jim Carey’s character from Dumb and Dumber…
• walked up to the beach, frowned at the grey skies, howling onshore wind and chopped up surf, kicked the dirt, and walked home.
• decided to try and run some of the frustration out over 5km, but due to the unpleasant weather, didn’t spy a single jogerette until the last 200m

… and that was Time Wastin’ Tuesday. How was yours?

Tags: Time wastin' Tuesday, general by generalboy
4 Comments »

I’d wager there wouldn’t be too many gen-x Aussie kids who don’t remember wandering home from school, plopping themselves down on the couch in front of the telly with a loaf of unopened, soft white Vienna bread and a glass of Milo ( 50% milk… 50% Milo, with the spoon left in ). And chances are that while you gobbled down those doughy little rolls of squishy bread, and snorted the chocolaty goodness of Milo, you watched Simon Townsend’s Wonderworld on Channel 10.

Wonderworld was sort of a first of its kind in Australia - sort of like a less daggy Behind the News for kids. The show was split into 4 segments on different topics that changed each week - anything from sciencey stuff to animal stuff, to music, or maybe something from another country. Each segment had a reporter, and each one had a specialty area. Simon Townsend was the creator and host, aided by his faithful companion Woodrow ( a gigantic, drooling Bloodhound, who died in 1985 following an accident in which he attempted to jump from the open door of a Helicopter as it took off ), and later, a sulphur crested cockatoo. Simon himself had this odd, but endearing way of speaking, punctuating occasional giggles and pauses with inexplicable tangents. Comedian Paul Hogan lampooned this in a sketch from his show An Evening with Hoges, and while the impersonation was reasonably funny, Hoges’ best work was well behind him by this stage; the rest of the sketch is cringeworthy.

Wonderworld was a springboard for comedian Jonathan Coleman ( as seen on Spicks and Specks tonight ), ABC journo and more recently, ebay mouthpiece Angela Catterns, as well as Sheridan Jobbins who co-produced (with Amanda Keller) the iconic 80’s Live it Up video for Mental As Anything. All worked as reporters on the show, but perhaps its longest serving was one-time 80’s pop princess Edith Bliss, who had a hit with If it’s love you want, and drove teenage boys to distraction with her blonde perm and smoldering eyes.

In 1992 the Nine Network re-launched the show ( removing Simon Townsend from the name ), among the team of new reporters was a 21 year old journalism graduate named Catriona Rowntree, who had only just landed the evening timeslot on ABC youth radio station JJJ. The show rated well, and it ran for another three years… but it just wasn’t the same.

You might be surprised to know that Simon himself is still out there, in fact, he even has his own blog. If you have a moment, check out his story about the accidental and rather infamous airing of the blue version of The Cheese Sketch from Monty Python. It’s actually quite a good read.

He’s still a funny bloke.

Tags: general, generalboy remembers by generalboy
3 Comments »

Enjoy

---

… and if you want to waste more time, here’s how they made it. Watch them all jump when the balloon goes off and drops the confetti at the end of the clip!

---

… and finally, if you want to see retro 80’s almost done better than it was in the 80’s, here’s some more time wasting. I love the way the chicks dance in this clip. Classic stuff.

---

Tags: Time wastin' Tuesday, general by generalboy
3 Comments »

• the dusky smell the sleep out in the rear of our house

• running around the backyard holding dad’s model Spitfire above my head, making engine sounds

• the very specific aroma of the wood fires in our street, and the smoke haze hanging low in the cold night air

• digging holes in the sand and big, dead jellyfish washed up on the beach

• mum pushing me underwater and letting me float back up, and how the water in Port Philip bay tasted

• eating a big meat pie with lots of sauce in the dimly lit kitchen

• playing with my freind Ross from two doors up

• lying back, and looking up at timber power poles, power lines, and tram overhead lines from the back seat of a moving car

• grey skies, and the cold wind off the bay blowing straight down our street

Tags: general, generalboy remembers by generalboy
7 Comments »